For Those Time When Paranoia Has You Down...

New York resident William J. 'Bill' Clinton is troubled by a "vast right-wing conspiracy" that he claims once accused him of everything from adultery to murder. He now sees the same ghosts going after his wife's boss, Barry 'Barack' Obama.

Paranoia is no laughing matter. So, when vast right-wing conspiracies lurk around every corner, ask your doctor if once-a-day Zyprexa is right for you. Also available in injectable form, for those times when you know they're after you -- because they've gone and strapped you to a table.