One of the Many Reasons I Hold My Nose When I Vote Republican

Michael Steele, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and a few million other people – myself included – are wondering how to get the GOP down off cinder blocks and back on the road. Let me see if I can help...

“Dictated deviance” is the sociological principle that causes Democrats to oppose Republicans’ desire to win in Iraq, and Republicans’ opposition to Democrats’ efforts to bring about higher average automotive fuel economy and lower emissions. Not only is this behavior not good for America, it is blatantly self-destructive for the actor.

Yesterday, the Obama administration announced the first-ever national emissions standards (no more “California cars”) along with new mileage standards. The predictable reaction from the opposition party was, well, predictable.

So let me understand this: The party of Lincoln (the statesman, not the car – I think) is in favor of gas-hogs that belch poison gas in my face because it represents freedom, liberty, capitalism, the free market, global competitiveness, and the salvation of an industry on life support since the Carter administration. Have I got that right?

A major objection seems to be that this new law will cost money. I've got news for you: I got a haircut yesterday. It cost money. If you want one of the new cars for free, I suggest you wait until they're available and steal one. (You didn't hear that from me.) If you're in the habit of going out and buying a new SUV every year, you need more than a cheaper car. You need self-control, maturity, and judgment.

The precious SUV that was crack cocaine to Detroit and the object of desire behind so much unwise home refinancing may be in jeopardy. Congress will hear from the soccer mom lobby!

Since the Democrats won the election and future availability has been threatened, literally millions of Americans have run out and bought firearms and ammunition. Arms makers’ sales and FBI statistics bear this out. Only a damn fool would run out and buy an SUV now, with the future of SUVs at risk. Automakers’ sales attest to this.

I don’t much believe in the wisdom of crowds, but sometimes they do get it right:

• They’re buying guns in numbers that break all historical sales records.
• They’re buying American cars in numbers that just put GM and Chrysler out of business.
• They’re voting Republican in numbers too low for the GOP to have any majorities that count.

Pattern?