Nobel Prize in Physics Awarded for ShamWow

Stockholm (AP) The Nobel Committee has announced that the 2009 Nobel Prize for Physics will go to Dr. Jae Kim Song and Dr. Anthony Angeletti, both of the Collins Institute of Materials Science at the University of Oregon, Medford, USA.

Drs. Song and Angeletti are credited with developing the wormhole in the once-bedrock Law of Conservation of Matter and Energy that had prevented matter from absorbing other quantities of matter without gaining mass. This theoretical work laid the basis for the miracle ShamWow product, which can absorb vast quantities of industrial chemicals and bodily fluids without itself gaining any mass, finally releasing that additional matter when wrung out.